We all know that nothing in life is perfect. I’ve always been a firm believer that everything is what you make it; life is what you make it, love is what you make it, relationships (all kinds) are what you make them. All this to say that marriage is what my husband and I makes it. So in order to make for a successful marriage, prior to getting married I decided to read The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. And let me say this, I am glad that God put it on my heart to do so, cause baby….let me tell you. Not only did that book strengthen my relationship, but it also strengthened my prayer life. Going into it, I thought that reading this would reveal to me the secret of turning Antonio into the man that I wanted him to be, but boy was I wrong. From the first page, Stormie warns that this book is “not a means of gaining control over your husband”, but instead this book is to teach you how to lay down your “claim to power” over your husband.

Now don’t get me wrong, Antonio has always been a good man. He’s always had qualities that I didn’t think that I necessarily deserved. He’s always been patient, accommodating, giving, understanding, passionate, artistic, affectionate, educated, family oriented, and a host of other great qualities. But of course that wasn’t enough for me, because I wanted him to be more patient, more accommodating, more this and more that. Most of all, I wanted him to be more spiritual. We as women get so caught up in changing men into what we think they should be, which is why most relationships fail. It is not our job to change a man, but instead to accept them where they are and encourage them to be better for themselves. Note that I said better for themselves, and not for us. This is something that it took a while for me to understand, but once I began praying for him, my eyes and heart immediately opened.

In reading this book I began to pray for Antonio in a way that I never thought possible. I  first had to pray for “His Wife”…Me… which was the hard part. This was hard because in praying for myself as his wife I had to acknowledge that I wasn’t perfect, that I too had flaws. But as I began to cleanse my soul through prayer, I opened myself to be more susceptible to my imperfections and accepting to my husband’s. I came to realize that who he was as a man had nothing to do with me, but everything to do with God. It wasn’t my job to pray that God turned him into this man that I wanted him to be, but he needed to become the man that God had intended for him to be. This book showed me how to pray for things that I would have never even thunk of…his sexuality, his temptations, his fears, his purpose, his trials, and his emotions. The more I read, the more I pray, and the more I prayed the more changes I began to see. And not just in him, but in myself as well. I didn’t think it was possible, but I loved him more than I’d ever loved him before. I then became those things that I wanted him to become…more patient, more accommodating, more this and more that.

My husband didn’t know that I was reading the book when I first began.  It wasn’t until I either neared the end or finished the book that I told him I was reading it. It wasn’t that I wanted to “keep a secret” from him, I just didn’t want anything to stand in the way of my prayer. We all know how the devil tries to kill, steal, and destroy. I didn’t want him attacking my husband in a way that would cause my husband to rebel against my prayers. I  also wanted to see the change happen without him knowing. But I now know that it doesn’t matter who knew and who tried to come in between my prayer or my relationship, because what God joins together, can no man tear apart.

So please women, let us learn to rally behind our men in prayer. Let’s build them up with love and not tear them down with anger or venom. It is our love that will give them light in their darkest days. I learned the proper way to pray for my husband, and then I fell in love…again.

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.

~ Proverbs 18:22