Don’t let the hype scare you; marriage is what you make it. After our engagement, we often heard the phrase “the first year of marriage is the hardest”. Now that we have surpassed one year, we can say that that statement is partially true… but not in the sense that those people meant it. When we were told that the first year would be the hardest, it was more of a warning to expect a challenge. But it wasn’t hard at all; it was easy. It came naturally. Now that we are nearly half way through the second year, we can say that it is getting even easier. So when we say that our first year was the hardest, it doesn’t mean that it was hard in the literal sense; it just means that we expect every year going forward to be even better than the last.

Now don’t get us wrong, even though it was easy, we definitely faced challenges. So we aren’t saying that you won’t have any obstacles the first year, those are many times inevitable. You both are still learning what it means to be married and how to be a husband and a wife. Many of us are actually still learning how to be adults. Because of this you will make mistakes. You may still do some of the things that you did when you were just dating that may or may not have been a big deal such as staying out later than you said you would. I had to learn that it was not ok to tell my wife that I will be home at a certain time and not come home at that time. I didn’t think it was a big deal, but it was to her so I had to make a change. You are expected to be more responsible, more aware of your actions now that you are married. Now every action gives your spouse a glimpse of what the rest of their life could be like. Which brings us to another possible challenge: Expectations

Having too many expectations for your husband or wife can potentially cause issues, especially if your spouse doesn’t fully understand them. You may have discussed the topic before, but that may not be enough for them to completely comprehend. Some things are only learned through experience. In this case, patience is key. Not only that, but your expectations of your husband or wife may be unrealistic.

Everyone’s challenges will be different. But it is up to each couple to remember the true meaning of marriage and work through these challenges… together. It is important to recognize your role during the challenging times before focusing on your spouse’s. You must understand that even though you love your spouse, they are not perfect. Marriage was not designed to make each individual perfect. In fact, it is when you are married that you see just how imperfect you both are. But what marriage was designed to do is to last forever, not just a year. It was designed for you to be the compliment to your partner’s imperfections so that you two will grow perfect as one.

So whether or not “the hardest year of marriage” will actually be hard is completely up to you. We pray that our first year was the hardest because it has been one of the happiest times of our lives, which would mean we’re headed towards some pretty good times. We successfully completed our first year of marriage… then we fell in love… all over again.

♥

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Ephesians 5:31